Presidio Sentinel San Diego
September, 2013
Just gimme
a minute here, while I assure you that I’m not going to
elaborate
on the urgent stories of the day:
Egypt, Syria, Gay Conversion, Bradley Manning, Oscar Pistorius, Fires,
Filner, the Hermanos Arellanos. By publication, the world will have turned
(hopefully, not tumbled) and my deeply considered opinions will already be
obsolete.
A loss, no doubt.
No, this
month, I’m an ambassador of looking on the upside. For instance, the top guy at J C Penney’s could be booted,
but in the meantime, I may be the foremost beneficiary of the company’s
peculiar pricing. I admit to a craving for using all the discounts, coupons and
birthday presents a retailer can come up with - which is why I cheerfully
report that my new jeans cost 79 cents.
That’s not a typo.
I urge you
to follow my practice – even to Von’s, where traveling through their discount
systems requires – at minimum – a Ph.D. in Economics. Despite my sometimes futile attempts to unravel
their customer specials, I’m a four-star Von’s shopper. Despite the ordeal – to
say nothing of confusion – of clipping coupons, entering passwords, phone
numbers and mother’s maiden names, to say nothing of simply collecting Von’s
snail-mail, I save a ton. In fact,
except for what was surely a professional expert who carted off a basket of
groceries for no cash at all - I’m
not making that up – I’ve drawn admiration – however reluctant - from
incredibly patient shoppers behind me.
In honor of
one visit, which resulted in a 55 percent savings, I
penned a
celebratory limerick:
Oh, coupons 'pon coupons I clip
For my totals to take a steep dip
My record - I broke!
(This isn't a joke,
Tho' I realize it's not very hip ... :)
My family
has developed any number of creative techniques for sending me up, inspired by
my un-hipness. But I don’t care. They should have respect for their
inheritance.
One
relative, too, sighs at my using
restaurant coupons. She’s
embarrassed, imagine that. Doesn’t she know that the coupon reminded me of the
restaurant, give me an incentive for choosing it over several dozen others?
There’s even a reasonably good chance that, given a good meal and service, I’d
return? Could even make it a regular? Either way, we all win.
(I’ll pause
here to report that I never even think of “Saigon on Fifth” until I see their
coupons. Now, this lovely
restaurant’s cuisine and service are really commendable, yet given other dining
demands, etc., I don’t think of them until I see the coupon. Better that I use the coupon than
don’t patronize them at all?)
Try as I
might, I simply can not tell the value difference between a T-shirt for $65 and
one
for
$7.95. It’s got to be the
labels. My highly affordable “Gotta
Dance - Baryshnikov!” tee may be
the most-admired in the city. And
I’m not even counting those who say they love the shirt but never heard of
Baryshnakov. “More People Have
Read This T-shirt Than Have Seen Your Blog,” is my second most-admired tee, but
it has
a downside,
of course.
I hope I’ve
persuaded you to similarly manage your money, for the good of your pocketbook
and the satisfaction of your soul.
And don’t even think for one minute of the financial challenges of those
guys, Manning, Pistorius, Fires, Filner, the Arellanos. They’ve got other troubles. ###
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