What Now? I’M TOO YOUNG …

September 2015, Presidio Sentinel San Diego

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By Laura Walcher

Yeow.  There’s something about August. Are more babies born in August than any other month?  Someone’s probably done some useless study.  I attribute its possibility – if not probability – to the cold, early sunset months of December.

But I already digress.  My August birthday was kind’ve shocking.  I was much too young for it, tho’  I accepted, if not embraced it - with steely grace and not much whining.

I shared the family celebration with one other of us, who became 51.  Now that’s a tuning-into-seniority number. He put a bold face on the occasion, but I could tell he was hiding a little chagrin.  I wouldn’t reach my next birthday if I gave you his name.  This is very sensitive stuff.

These days, playing my flute constitutes great pleasure with serious remorse, idiotically having given it up for decades in the wake of career and family fostering. Did I recover my former expertise?  I only recovered not embarrassing myself, and by now, I’ve discovered Aleve for my fingers, my best new friend. (thanks, Mom).

Good news in August happened when, in the park with Fen, we met a tall, good-looking fellow dog-walker, who remembered me - by my hair. He pulled out his I-phone to show me how he’d copied it for dressing up as a woman for Comic-Con. But, he said, he’d had one problem. “How,” he pleaded, “ did you get the white part so white?”

Well, that cheered me up.

 “Just wait, “ I said.

Technology and entertainment constitute my greatest contemporary challenges.  Even tho’ I have Mr. W., the techo-genius, in house, what am I to do if he’s walking the dog?  My computer declares, “NOT CONNECTED TO THE NETWORK.”  “TRY AGAIN.” 

Yeah, right.  When I “Try Again,” it says, “Try Again.”  If he tries again, the computer falls to its knees in obeisance.

(Fortunately, per making my Presidio Sentinel deadlines.)

Here’s a test:  Who are OMI, The Hills, The Weekend, Silento, Major Lazer and DJ Snake? This list of Billboard’s Music Awards’ star performers will only drop into my conciousness via social media – thereby combining the contemporary frustrations of technology and entertainment. 

Every now and then, my sister in Columbus sends me a list of her ordinary schedule for the day, the week, sometimes for just one evening.  Here’s a tiny excerpt:  “…yesterday. You would’ve loved it.  10:30 a.m., annual dance concert, it was FANTASTIC. i grabbed a little lunch and  raced to Duxberry school - across city - for their annual Arts day and I was their 'guest artist' so i had a few big workshops with kids (through the day , not just me, but mine were mucho fun and wow- those kids full of beyond belief energy. Home around 5, (BF) made good supper- i brushed my teeth, met my friend Sarni at annual African dance concert - may go see it again Sunday afternoon. Wish you could have been there. It was unreal.”  Etc.

I had to edit this, of course, to spare you the exuberance of her chaotic punctuation. Not that she’s illiterate. Just excited.

Wish I had been there.  She’s a model of her favorite line, which, tho’ being the struggling, imitative “little” sister, I yearn to live:  ‘I’m too young, to be this old!”  xxx